Limiting Beliefs: Believe That You Can Fly

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.” — J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

It is a line written for a children’s story, and it may be the truest sentence ever written about the adult mind.

There are several limiting beliefs that keep appearing in the stories of the self. They show up in our stories about money, about love, about what we look like and what we are capable of learning. They decide — quietly, and usually without asking our permission — what we attempt, what we accept, and what we do not even dare to want.

Beliefs That Were Once Teachers

Here is a question worth sitting with: have these beliefs served their purpose as teachers for your past? Perhaps. A belief that whispers “be careful” may once have protected you. A belief that says “don’t ask for more” may once have kept the peace in a house where asking was dangerous.

But have some of these beliefs outlived their usefulness? Absolutely.

A teacher is meant to be outgrown. When a belief stays past its season, it stops teaching and starts ruling. The protection becomes a cage. And because the belief was installed early — often in childhood, when we had the least power and the greatest believability in what others thought and said about us — we rarely think to question it. We mistake its voice for our own.

The Keystone Belief

Of all the limiting beliefs, one holds the others up. In the essay where I first explored this, I called it the keystone: “I am not good enough. I am not significant, and I feel small.”

Lack of self-esteem and self-belief are the most damaging and pervasive limiting beliefs, because self-esteem is the belief around which many other beliefs rotate, gaining their momentum. Doubt your worth, and love becomes hard to receive. Doubt your worth, and wealth feels like something that happens to other people. Doubt your worth, and even your own face in the mirror becomes evidence against you.

That is why the work begins here — not with your circumstances, but with the story underneath them. This first essay eventually became the opening of my book Let Go of Limiting Beliefs, which follows all twelve beliefs with reflection, action steps, and a notes page for each one: Let Go of Limiting Beliefs on Etsy.

Why You Cannot Just Think Your Way Out

Let me offer the reality check I had to learn myself: stop believing that you are not good enough — but know that this is not a cerebral attempt to enhance self-esteem.

Thinking your way into higher self-esteem usually fails, because this belief operates on a much deeper level. I could repeat several times that I love myself and I value myself — but if I do not feel and believe it deeply, and have the corresponding feelings and emotions, it will not work. Words without feeling are just noise the heart learns to ignore.

What works is consonance: bring your thoughts, feelings, and actions into agreement. Think high-self-esteem thoughts. Feel great when you think about those thoughts. And then back them up with actions that take care of you. Insight can happen in a flash — but it takes structure and work to sustain a new belief.

A New Belief to Practise

Every limiting belief in this series is answered with a new belief, and the first one is this:

“I am worthy of the best. I believe in myself. I will feel good about myself and take actions to prove my worth and efficacy.”

Read it slowly. Then do the harder, better thing: take one small action today that a person who believed it would take. That is how a sentence becomes a belief — and how a belief becomes a life.

Get the Book

Let Go of Limiting Beliefs gathers this essay series into one illustrated ebook: twelve beliefs — from “I am not worthy of love” to “My life will not change” — each explored with honesty and compassion, each answered with action steps and a new belief to practise, each followed by a Notes & Current Progress page to capture your next steps. It is available as an instant download at its launch price of $3.49 (reg. $6.99):

👉 Get Let Go of Limiting Beliefs on Etsy

From the archive: this post grows out of my 2016 essay Jettison These Powerful Limiting Beliefs And Supercharge Your Life — Part 1.

And if you are new here, start with my free book, 12 Amazing Life Lessons From Rumi — twelve timeless quotes and the lessons I found inside them, free to download at launchyourgenius.com. 🌿