“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.” ― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
There are several limiting beliefs that keep appearing in our stories of the self.
Have these beliefs served their purpose as teachers for your past? Perhaps.
Have some these beliefs outlived their usefulness? Absolutely.
What are some of these limiting beliefs? And how can you get past them and get more energized and excited about your life?
“When you’re different, sometimes you don’t see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn’t.”― Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart
1. I am not Good Enough, I am not Significant, and I Feel Small
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”― Gautama Buddha
Lack of self-esteem and self-belief are the most damaging and pervasive limiting beliefs. Self-esteem is the keystone limiting belief around which many other beliefs rotate gaining their momentum.
I have seen that regardless of race, nationality or sex, this belief keeps rearing its head. This is perhaps because we believe that there is something imperfect about ourselves. This happens a lot when we are the most impressionable.
For many of us, this is in childhood when we have the least power and the greatest believability in what others think and say to us.
Reality Check: Stop believing that you are not good enough. The problem is that this is not a cerebral attempt to enhance self-esteem. Thinking your way into higher self-esteem or belief usually fails because this belief operates on a much deeper level.
For example, I could repeat several times that I love myself and I value myself. But if I so not feel and believe that deeply and have corresponding feelings and emotions, it will not work.
“Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions … Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.”― Tina Fey, Bossypants
1. Start today towards believing that you are worth it and you deserve the best that life has to offer.
2. Bring consonance in your thoughts, feelings and actions. For example, think high self esteem thoughts, feel great when you think about those thoughts. And then back them up with actions that take care of you.
3. Remember that while insights can happen in a flash, it takes a lot of structure and work to sustain a new belief.
4. New Belief: I am worthy of the best. I believe in myself. I will feel good about myself and take actions to prove my worth and efficacy.
“The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.” ― Ayn Rand
2. I am not Worthy of Love
“Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.”― C. JoyBell C.
Again not true. This is closely related to self-worth and esteem and usually shows up in intimate relationships. When the going gets serious, you begin to doubt the other person who wants to love you like you are.
You panic and withdraw the love from the other person. The truth might just be that you do not feel the self-love allowing you to give away or receive love from others.
You are worthy of your love and the love of others. Read that again. Even if you are secure in yourself, affirming your worth to love and receive love is a great practice.
Do not deflect love, instead accept it, soak it, and shine it to others.
“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.”― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
1. Uncover the deep and ancient relationship wrecker, I am not worthy of love.
2. Begin by loving yourself in small and digestible increments. Often we jump in trying to make huge changes and fail. Start by small changes and small actions.
3. When someone reflects the lack of self-love that you feel, reject the idea. Back away from those thoughts and feelings of lack of self-love. Detach yourself and realign towards enhanced self-love.
4. Ask what kind of relationship do you have with yourself.
5. New Belief: I love myself regardless of what others think. I love myself to take care of the self. I will schedule me time to reflect my new self-love. I will allow others to love and appreciate me and not deflect it or push it away.
“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.”― C. JoyBell C.
3. I am not Beautiful Enough
“I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose.”― Margaret Cho
We want to believe that what is on the inside is more important than the exterior.
But you may not see others reflect that idea.
Some people are too caught up with keeping appearances and their quest for beauty. This does not mean that you believe in the story that beauty is good and is the most important thing .
Some of the manifestations:
- I am not beautiful.
- Who will want me?
- I am not thin enough.
- I am not athletic enough.
- I always have bad hair.
It is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the person who carries it. It is time to reclaim you inner and outer beauty and accept you for who you are and not for something else.
1. You have some qualities on the outside and the inside that are unique and beautiful. Enhance those elements.
2. Embrace and accept your imperfections and your strengths. Self-acceptance gives you confidence and that makes you sexy.
3. Stop comparing yourself to an ideal of physical beauty that is unrealistic.
4. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
5. New Belief: I am a beautiful person inside and out. I appreciate my inner beauty and allow others to appreciate me as well. I consciously focus on my strengths and will not give energy to my perceived weaknesses.
4. I am not Intelligent Enough
“It is not that I’m so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.”― Albert Einstein
Not feeling intelligent enough is a powerful limiting belief that may not have a basis in fact. Often, you have had a bad experience with a class or someone telling you that you are not smart.
Those careless words and one time bad experiences can have a lasting impact on your self-belief.
You begin to believe that you are not smart enough. Then you stop reading and learning and develop fixed learning mindsets that do not serve you.
When someone suggests greater possibilities, you assume that you cannot reach them. You write it off that you do not have the intelligence or the smarts to get through with it.
See how this is a vicious cycle that stops you from developing your intellect. The biggest limitation is when you believe that intelligence is set in stone.
“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”― Maya Angelou
1. You are intelligent and smart enough to make a huge difference in your life.
2. Get enthusiastic about learning and embrace the learning mindset.
3. Go back in your memory and isolate the incidents where you felt less smart or intelligent. Allow yourself to release them. And replace them with the growth, learning, and possibility perspective.
4. Effort, intention, and enthusiasm are more important than raw intelligence. Sustained work is more effective than the idea of effortless intelligence and smarts.
5. Call out and dismiss anyone who emphatically points out your lack of being smart and intelligent. Do not allow others to push you over to the realm of feeling defensive about yourself. Remember that by changing your perspective, you allow new possibilities to flood your life.
6. New Belief: I am intelligent at my core. I am intuitive and with effort and interest can master my field. I believe in kaizen or constant improvement…better and better. My new mantra: Learning and intelligence can improve and enhance with effort and enthusiasm.
“You might be poor, your shoes might be broken, but your mind is a palace.”― Frank McCourt, Angela’s Ashes
5. I am not Wealthy Enough
“Today expect something good to happen to you no matter what occurred yesterday. Realize the past no longer holds you captive. It can only continue to hurt you if you hold on to it. Let the past go. A simply abundant world awaits.”― Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance
This is a HUGE limiting belief.
Over the years you may heard limiting beliefs about money such as:
- Money does not grow on trees.
- You do not provide enough value.
- The filthily rich…
- Don’t waste money.
- Where will we find the money?
- I am not good with money…
- The rich become arrogant. I do not want to be like that, so I will stay the distance from riches.
And so on.
We should be careful about managing our money.
But many people have a fear of wealth and money.
With an active limiting belief that they are not good with money, they stop actively managing and investing it.
They allow financial stuff to happen to them. They take care of crises as they happen and sinking further into debt and hopelessness.
While they secretly hope they can be more abundant and rich, they openly resent people with a wealth of abundance.
“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”― Anthony Robbins
1. Embrace an abundance mindset.
2. Replace negative beliefs about money with empowering beliefs.
3. Learn everything about sound money management. Often abundance is a mindset and depends on sound financial structures and habits.
4. Value yourself by paying yourself the right amount for your efforts. Do not be afraid to charge what you are worth and do not underestimate your worth.
5. Don’t resent rich people or abundance. Instead become grateful of the abundance in your life to open the gateway of plenty in your life.
6. New belief: I am abundance. I allow the well-spring of abundance and material wealth to grace my life. I am good with money and I am a good manager of money. I am grateful of the good in my life and allow the pouring in of plenty.
This is the end of the first part. Read part-2 here.
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